On I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE

 In 2011, I lived in San Francisco and loved it. While I was there, a friend contacted me and told me that he'd mentioned me to a writer friend of his. His friend wanted to get together with me for a casual late afternoon date. I was thrilled at the attention, yet also a bit concerned. The writer friend, he said, was very attractive and in his early 30s. I was in my early 50s and felt I should call and tell him before we arranged a meeting place. Back in New York, some gay men saw being 40 years old as "ancient." Also, I'm not exactly a hot hunk like singer Ricky Martin.  I called the writer friend.

"I'd love meet you for a drink but I must tell you that I'm in my early 50s..."

"That's fine, he said.

"And I'm a stocky, average-looking guy. I'm not a hottie."

"I don't care what you look like," he said.

"Are you sure? Back in New York..."

"I don't care what you look like," he said.

"That's comforting to hear because..."

"Listen to me. I want to get together and I don't care what you look like. Because... I'm blind."

Yes. I had a blind date in San Francisco. And it was fun. Hearing his stories about getting around and writing gave me a different perspective on gay life in the Bay Area. We had a couple of drinks, some appetizers and then his brother came to the Castro to pick him up and take him home.

Which brings me to the short documentary I saw recently. It runs only 1hour and 15 minutes. It's called I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE and it's the work of Reid Davenport, a filmmaker with cerebral palsy. One of my favorite productions on Netflix is SPECIAL, a autobiographical sitcom starring Ryan O'Connell. In it, we followed his work and home life adventures being a young gay man with cerebral palsy out to establish his independence. I love that show.

Reid Davenport lives in Oakland, Calfornia. His camera shoots the world from his view. He's fascinated with a circus that's in town and wonders if it will have a "freak show" and what the freaks will be. He feels that people of color, the LGBTQ community, and the disabled are considered freaks by some. Freaks and outsiders. We in society see the disabled but pretend we don't see them. Reid is a tough character and can sometimes be a handful with dealing with strangers. He flies home to Bethel, Connecticut -- a place he calls "purgatory" and seems focused on researching circus master P.T. Barnum, the man who introduced "freak shows" to the circus. Personally, I wish he'd stayed on that angle. It was interesting. And some spots in his documentary are a bit show. But it's worth it to see him at ease and dealing with family, then heading back to the daily headaches of Oakland. He doesn't mention it, but we see that there needs to be more inclusion in public facilities for the disabled.

If you're up for something different and revealing, check out this documentary. He gives visibility to people we often treat as being invisible when we see them in public.