Monday, March 11, 2013

It's "A Papal Line," The Musical

This is a big, historic week for us Catholics.  We now have an ex-Pope due to His Holiness Benedict giving two weeks' notice and leaving the star spot last month.
This week the Conclave gathers in Vatican City to pick a new pope.  The ritual!  The drama!  The costumes!  The backstage secrets!  The papal hopefuls!  Rosary beads, prayer books and personal crucifixes will get quite a workout starting Tuesday.
I  keep thinking this whole selection process should be done like Michael Bennett's classic 1975 Broadway musical drama.

Remember the opening audition scene with all the dancers holding their resumé photos in A Chorus Line?

Repeat that with these Vatican candidates in -- A Papal Line.

(Candidates sing)  "God I hope I get it...I hope I get it.  How many pontiffs does he need?"

We could see that one candidate who should have been Pope before but didn't make it.  In A Papal Line, he'd been the equivalent of Cassie, the exceptional singer/dancer Donna McKechnie played onstage in the original production of A Chorus Line.

Cassie got raves on Broadway. She went to Hollywood.  She should've been a star.  But stardom didn't happen.  Now she's humbly back to auditioning for a Broadway chorus job.  I'd love to see that one papal candidate do a Vatican version of "The Music and the Mirror."

(Singing)  "....All I ever needed was a Bible and the red shoes and the hope to pope for you......
                 Make me The Pope and you instantly get me involved,
                 If you make me The Pope then you know that your sins are absolved....
                 Make me The Pope, you would think that by now I'm allowed...
                 I'll do you proud.
                 Give me some beads to hold onto,
                 Give me apostles who care...
                 Give me a chance to look forward to saying
                 "Hey, I've got a big cross to bear..."

                  "Make me a pontiff, give me a chance to come through...
                  All I ever needed was a Bible and the red shoes and the hope....
                  To pope...."

                   DANCE BREAK

That's my Vatican Pick-A-New-Pope idea.  I pray they elect the best person for the job.

If a black pope is chosen, our next musical will be...The Color Papal.  (I'm here all week.)

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